I Was Brought To Prison In Handcuffs For A Con Air Screening & It Was The Best Experience

The Glasgow Film Festival folks didn't take us to an actual prison, per se. No one was doing push-ups, trying to learn Spanish, or writing letters to daughters they'd never met. Not that there's anything wrong with staying in shape, learning new languages, or keeping in touch with family members, mind you, but a "Con Air" screening should just be about the movie. Instead, they brought us to a funhouse known as The Experience, a building with the fuselage of a plane sticking out of the side, which had been set up to resemble a prison on the inside. They even brought in armed guards to prowl the building's hallways.

Upon arriving, we all enjoyed some go-karting and laser shooting before they took us to a nice big screen for "Con Air." There was a bar where we could order refreshing beverages and tasty snacks. While this is a big aspect of most movie screenings, you appreciate the little things more after being relieved of handcuffs. In those moments, I was reminded to never take my freedom for granted ever again, as it's essential for being able to eat nachos and watch "Con Air."

More than anything, the prison experience was a communal one. There I was, sitting among 300 strangers, all of us sporting jumpsuits, united in our pure, undistilled love of "Con Air." We ate, drank, laughed, cheered, and had the best night of our lives. 

When it was over, we rushed the guards, stole the buses, and tried to escape to an exotic island. Okay, that never happened, but it's a more interesting story than being put back onto a bus and returning to the town center as free men.