Best 'WALL-E' Quotes & Funny Lines, Ranked By Fans

AUTO: [Auto has just shown the Captain directive A-113, which is a message not to return to Earth due to rising toxicity levels making life unsustainable] Now, the plant.

Captain: No wait a minute, Computer when was the message sent out to the Axiom?

Ship's Computer: Message received in the year 2110.

Captain: That's... That's nearly 700 years ago! Auto, things have changed. We've gotta go back.

AUTO: Sir, orders are do not return to Earth.

Captain: But life is sustainable now. Look at this plant. Green and growing. It's living proof he was wrong.

AUTO: Irrelevant, Captain.

Captain: What? It's completely relevant.

[moves toward the window]

Captain: Out there is our home. *HOME*, Auto. And it's in trouble. I can't just sit here and-and-do nothing.

[moves back toward Auto]

Captain: That's all I've ever done! That's all anyone on this blasted ship has ever done. Nothing!

AUTO: On the Axiom, you will survive.

Captain: I don't want to survive. I want to live.

AUTO: Must follow my directive.

Captain: [groans in frustration, then turns around and notices that Auto is looming closer in the portraits of his predecessors. AUTO looms close behind him making him tighten his cap] I'm the captain of the Axiom. We are going home *today*.

[Auto advances toward him threateningly, causing the Captain to flinch]